Lockdown Diary Part 6 – 1G bear the brunt of the Covid-19 Lockdown

My husband’s cousins WhatsApp group is called ‘Stonethrowers 2G’. And before the ED and the IT departments swarm down like a plague of locusts, let me quickly say, this has nothing to do with Raja or Kanimozhi or any spectrum whatsoever. This is merely the 2nd Generation of Stonethrowers, therefore 2G!

The 2G chat which we normally use to plan our get-togethers, share the odd joke and exchange wishes for birthdays and festivals, has been particularly grim these past few months as two members of 1G (1st Generation Stonethrowers; i.e. parents of the 2G group) passed away during Lockdown. Instead of the usual pleasantries, the chat has been flooded with messages of condolence, grief and the most beautiful old-time sepia-tinted photographs of young, dashing and dynamic 1G.

Without getting into too much detail, one 1G uncle (kaka) passed away after a prolonged and lonely hospital stay. All agree that he hung on just long enough to be discharged, so he could pass away peacefully in his own home beside his wife of 55 years. The funeral was attended by a few close family members in strict adherence to the BMC rules, but the meticulously planned zoom prayer meeting a fortnight later was attended by an extraordinarily large number of family, friends and colleagues. “He’s a jolly good fellow and so say all of us”, was pretty much the theme of all the speakers and there wasn’t a dry eye by the time his granddaughter ended the meeting with a wonderfully curated slide show on his life.

The second 1G passing was the lovely, gracious, beautiful and special aunt (kaki) and the 2G group has again been buzzing with condolences, photographs and memories. She will be missed.

Readers of my blog will remember my post early in Lockdown 1.0 where my mum was very unwell and though she lives just 15 kms away from me I could not visit her or be physically there for her. Innumerable WhatsApp video calls with docs, medicines bought and sent through WeFast and loads of prayers got us through that time.

But though we managed to avert that crisis, the lockdown, the isolation, the anxiety and the challenge in procuring basic essentials have taken a huge toll on the physical and psychological wellbeing of many 1G, including my parents.

I have been thinking of the many ways in which I believe 1G has been affected by our lockdown.

Diet and Nutrition

While all of us 2Gs and 3Gs were in a fit of clevers to show off our lockdown cooking and e-commerce and local Kirana stores saw a huge surge in the sales of pasta, Mexican ingredients, sushi kits and exotic sauces, 1G was left pretty much out of this exuberance. With daily help in lockdown and the government and later housing societies stopping the entry of house help and cooks, many 1G had to face months of being atmanirbhar.

The 1G who lived on their own were particularly hard hit by this. Getting basic provisions and vegetables was an almost insurmountable challenge. Drivers couldn’t come to work, there was no one to buy provisions, in many cases there was no one to do the sweeping and dusting and 1G who haven’t cooked for themselves for years suddenly found themselves forced to fend for themselves. The larger buildings and societies got their acts together very quickly and organised centrally sourced vegetables, fruits, provisions and even ice cream(!), but, as a lot of the processes were app-based or at least done thorough WhatsApp and Google Forms, most 1G who lived on their own were left struggling with this.

While some 1G who lived on their own managed to organise a daily tiffin service, many, many more struggled with suddenly having to cook two meals a day for weeks and months on end. Meals perforce became simpler, more basic and consequently less varied and more importantly less nutritious.

The first month and a half were extremely difficult for my parents and though they have live-in house help, getting provisions, vegetables and fruit was a struggle, as there aren’t too many vendors within walking distance of their house. This resulted in many months of meals consisting of basic rice and dal, bread, upma, bhel, khichdi, poha, etc which though substantial, are far from nutritious and do not cover all essential food groups. Months of this diet are now showing their effect with a spike in blood sugar and a lowering of immunity.

My 1G uncle and aunt (mama and mami) have been without help for 5 months now as by the time Unlock 2.0 was announced, both their part-time help had fled to their villages as part of the great migrant exodus. The struggle of cooking two nutritious meals a day while at the same time managing the daily sweeping, swabbing and washing has been extremely difficult. My aunt gamely joked that we were all now BJP (Bhandi, Jaadu, Poncha).

I realise I write this from a prism of privilege but I believe these five months of thrown-together meals, lack of sufficient nutrition, poor diet and basic drudgery have taken a very heavy toll on our already fragile 1G.

Health and Healthcare

Amongst the innumerable unfortunate fallouts of Covid-19 and the Lockdown was that 1G were unable to go to their doctors or hospitals for regular health check-ups and tests. This was especially hard on 1G who needed their blood sugar monitored, required regular dialysis or needed their pressure and heart monitored every quarter. This sudden lack of access to basic healthcare has been deleterious on 1G.

Yes, you will say hospitals were open for emergencies and family physicians did treat regular patients, but the grounds reality was something else. Hospitals were seen as hotbeds of Covid-19, the elderly were strongly discouraged from going to hospitals and e-doctors were really a bridge too far for most.

According to a recent study by the Observer Research Foundation, “A disturbing possibility, which is buried under the cacophony around “Covid-19 issues” and seldom discussed during this pandemic, is the possibility of a sharp rise in non-Covid-19 deaths in the country, due to the current disruptions in healthcare and essential services. While necessary to slow the spread, the stringent lockdown has impacted the mental and physical wellbeing of Indians and has escalated economic losses. Furthermore, as the Coronavirus spread its wings across the country, multiple non-Covid related medical procedures were suspended, with most hospitals being overwhelmed by the Covid-19 patient load. Such a scenario has left the system vulnerable to the impact of other diseases.”

All my friends are ‘middle-aged’ but I prefer the term 2G and will stick with it, thank you. Our girl-group chats often circle back to the health and frailty of our 1G parents and we have taken turns helping one another douse fires on so many fronts and offering solidarity and solace when friends’ marriages implode; jobs disappear; teenage children suffer from depression, anxiety or eating disorders; parents become frail, or else die.

In the early days of Lockdown 2.0, one friend’s mother needed an emergency heart intervention and we all lived through her anxiety and stress. She says while they were blessed to have extremely good doctors who took care and control of her mother, but the time when they had to stand outside Saifee Hospital all night (as only patients are permitted into the hospital) and wait for news from within was extremely harrowing.

Another friend whose mother who lives on her own in Pune developed a whole host of age-related complications and our friend had to run from pillar to post to obtain an e-pass, video conference with doctors in Pune and figure out how to manage the mandatory quarantine in Pune once she did manage to get there.

Our lovely neighbour’s sprightly 93 father lives on his own in Kerala and had a fall early in the Lockdown. Lovely neighbour and her sibling spent countless hours on the phone managing and overseeing his medical help, his domestic help, his diet, medication and ordering all essentials to be delivered to his home. After domestic flights resumed in India, she booked a ticket to go visit him but had to cancel at the very last minute as Kerala imposed a 21-day quarantine and also the flood situation around Kochi was dire. She is still waiting to go see him and says this is the longest time in her 60 years that she has not seen him.

Yet another friend who has been a champion helping out in her large building society these last five months, says “the absence of house help was a deal-breaker. We have a few seniors who live alone; without progeny. They were the most affected. Lots of orthopaedic issues, heart issues and other problems”

Tales abound of surgeries postponed, chemotherapy delayed, regular injections missed and there is a general feeling that 1G is getting frailer by the day. The neglect of essential healthcare during the fight against Covid-19 has had and will continue to have an adverse effect on the vulnerable 1G.

Digital nightmare
While Covid-19 and the lockdown have catapulted many into a life lived almost entirely in the digital world whether it is for work, study, shopping, workouts or even socialising, many 1G found themselves left behind. While most 1G are now familiar with WhatsApp and YouTube, payment links, online transfers, e-commerce, google forms, Zoom and its ilk were another ball game altogether.

After the scare of demonetisation, I am sure most people no longer keep large amounts of cash at home – whether it is under their mattress or in their home safe. Months of lockdown left many 1G without cash to buy basic provisions. They could not go to banks or ATM’s without a car and driver, did not have the tech know-how to manage cashless transactions and many were left struggling, distressed, alone and anxious.

Isolation
Another underreported outcome of Covid-19 and the Lockdown is the isolation of 1G. While after a time most of us 2G and 3G started getting out for basic provisions and even walks, we made sure 1G were kept safely indoors ‘for their own protection. Being in the most vulnerable category made it impossible for 1G to stir out even after Unlock 2.0 and 3.0 with government advisory’s repeatedly saying people over 65 (!) should stay strictly at home. Not just the government, we 2G contributed to their fear and isolation too (in their best interest of course) by pleading with and bullying them to stay indoors and not meet anyone at all as the big bad wolf Covid-19 was waiting hungrily at their door. Most 1G that I know haven’t left their homes in 5 months, either because they physically cannot (no driver) or because they have been persuaded to stay indoors by their children and well-wishers.
Yes, I know it was and is necessary but I also know it has had a huge psychological impact on 1G and I cannot see how and when this will get better.

This is the time for us 2Gs to step up. We really need to shut up about how tough the last few months have been for us and imagine how these days have been for our parents, our in-laws, our older relations, friends and neighbours. Just because they are a generation who don’t complain doesn’t mean they aren’t hurting. If there is ever a time to reach out and give a little of yourself, it’s now. Do it today. A video call, a socially distanced visit, a special treat, a little help with technology…